THOUGHTS

Just random clips I came up with over the course of the past few months. More to come:

THE FACADE OF BEAUTY IS A DANGEROUS PHENOMENON. ONCE REVEALED THE SUBJECT IS ENTRANCED BY THE INTRICATE PLACING OF FORM AND STYLE THAT CREATE AND ENHANCE WHAT APPEARS BEFORE THE EYES. UNKNOWINGLY BELOW THE SURFACE LIES WHAT CANNOT EASILY BE SEEN AND THAT ALONE FORMS AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE DANGER. WHEN WE RELATE WITH ONE ANOTHER, WHETHER IT BE IN SOCIAL OR PRIVATE ARENAS, THIS TYPE OF IMAGE IS WHAT WE ALL PUT UP. WE ARE NOT WINDOWS BUT RATHER DOORS BARRING ENTRY TO THE SOUL BUT ALLOWING ACCESS TO WHOEVER IS ABLE TO FIND THE MEANS. 

Sitting here in complete silence i surrender myself to the white noise buzzing around me. Easing into the vast empty space, i plunge deep into thoughts and feeling. losing all control of whatever is around me and blanking out form and vision my mind replaces image and i delve deeper into this unusual calm. floating above the days actions, past worries, and remnants of last nights dreams, all i see is the deep blue, swirling orange, and changing purple behind my lids.

BOLD

You are stabbing my heart continuously with your jagged words and sharp actions. Deep cuts dripping thick blood profusely down my tear-wet skin. A pool of red slowly forming at my feet, I gasp in tormented agony at the depravity of the pain you choose to inflict. Bending slightly, I see my face in the voluminous mass. Dark eyes staring empty into the distant trail of loneliness, sadness, heartbreak, and rejection. There is nothing else left for me to see.

The cold stares and silent whispers penetrate my skin like the tingling sensation of frostbite. I cannot grasp the turmoil rising up within me as a result of the events I see without. A false word here, a deceitful play there leaves them thinking they can tear me down bit…by…bit. Perpetual stabbing has left my back weary and worn. Barely able to go on, I WANT TO GIVE UP!

My heart has lost its fire, long quenched by the floods of betrayal. Struggling to beat through the pain of disappointment I continue on. The empty feeling that has taken over my body as if no one cares is ALL I feel. BUT, although battered, I am not destroyed. The blaming angry eyes haunt my soul, yet I am not moved. I am hurt. Yes, painfully so by those cold eyes. But for me to go down, you’re gonna have to take me out.

Meditate

Was washing some dishes after a long day and this song popped into my mind. Just started humming it at first and then began singing the words and realizing how relevant the song was to my life at the moment (thank God for revelation!) With all the stress, trials, worries, and failures in life sometimes all you really need to do is just sit back, relax, and think. Thinking about all the wonderful things God has done makes all the bad seem to fade away into the distance and everything is right again. Life is not always a walk in the park but its definitely much more bearable with God by our sides. Enjoy.

GRACE

There are so many things in life that we take for granted. Like being able to wake up each morning to see a new day, whether or not its sunny or overcast. Like having the chance to spend time with people that you love, laughing, talking, and just enjoying each others company. Like having a house for shelter and not the clouds as our roof. Like sitting down to a warm meal not worried about whether or not there will be another, confident that there will always be provision. Like having health even though we may struggle through fad diets and reluctantly visit gyms to stay fit we are still physically sound. Like going to school to become something no matter what obstacles we may face. Like being able to dream and watching them become fulfillments. Like falling in love and....falling in love again. All these things we at times take for granted, not realizing that although they may seem trivial, they are actually the most important things in the world if we were to lose them. Hillsong United couldn't have said it better when they sang, "And I find myself here on my knees again. Caught up in grace like an avalanche. Nothing compares to this love, love love. Burning in my heart." I am in awe of the grace and protection that God has allowed to engulf my life. And like the song says, as much as I may try to run away from it,  I always find myself back to square one. Back to falling into complete surrender in his presence. I take all these wonderful things for granted quite often and when I realize this all I can do is bow in reverence.

FOUND

Inspired off that new 'Ye single. My own personal twist.

The heaviness, overwhelming me

there’s no way out, the night is dark

my eyes can’t see

Troubles, fears, lusts consume

They gather, circling vultures

embers dying, coal black fumes

I struggle gagging to find my way out

My soul has fallen far yes no doubt

I’d strayed away from my purposed path

His will forsaken only to gain hell’s wrath

Shame awakens my heart to feel

The sins that from the black stay

nipping at my heels

Crumpling, bowing, sighing, crying out in grief

Pleading with the one I know

who by His grace can give relief

No longer swayed by temptations pull

Rising stronger, forgiveness full

I break out running knowing its real

How hard the enemy goes is no small deal

Tearing, pulling, striving to gain back my sight

I reach out desperate and from afar

catch a glimpse of all of the light

Vibes

If I could write you a song

I’d make it one that you’d remember

Soft wind blowing, sun down low

I’d sit by the keys and chime out the chords

My hands will graze the black and white depressions

Listening for the right one, the one you’d like

That would reach deep down into your soul and

Tickle the veins that run through your heart

Producing the pangs

Pangs of sweet contentment

Mixing with the strains of a song

I think I could write for you if only I knew

The words,

the words that you would honestly

hear and capture within your soul

From the palms of your hands to the tips of your toes

Making you see what I see and feel what I feel

But for now I remain here head rested against the

Sleek, dark vibrations of the keys, these keys

The freeing of my feelings for you 

Agape

"And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ;"-Philippians 1:9-10

February is the month of groundhogs, African Americans and of course LOVE. This morning during my devotional I happened to come upon this passage. I read it first once through and thought I understood. But then I read it again for better understanding, and glanced at the footnotes. That is when it became clear. The footnote stated, "Real love requires growth and maturation". Then it went on to say, "Christian love is not mere sentiment; it is rooted in knowledge and understanding". During this month, everyone is going to be exhibiting or trying to show some form of love. They will buy flowers, send cards, inundate mail with boxes of candy and chocolates or run up their credit cards with expensive dinners for their significant others. All this in an attempt to show how much they love.  But is this really LOVE? It is easy for everyone to get caught up in the hype. We all feel happy and loved when someone remembers to send us candy or a card this month. There is nothing wrong with this. But what I found particularly alarming is how this practice has become a societal norm. I think we need to take a step back and redefine for ourselves what love is. This passage is definitely a start. So often we throw this term around more than a pigskin. Our "I love you's" become synonymous to saying "Thank You" or "Excuse me". It has lost its value and meaning. Our love is still as infantile as a kindergartener's way of thinking. What we need to do is start working on the growth and maturation of our love. How do we do this? Well getting a better understanding of what it is can be helpful. And then figuring out ways to show it, other than materially, can also guide us further down the path. The best example though I feel will be attempting to emulate Christ's love for us. A love that went far beyond superficial sentiment and sacrificed itself just so that we might be saved and live more abundantly through his grace. That is the ultimate love, and obtaining something like that is gonna take a lot more than chocolates and flowers. I'm still working on it. I'll let you know how that goes.

King James Study Bible, Zondervan